Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life
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*barges out of coffin at funeral yelling sike*
my mom and dad were arguing in front of me whether to give me a present now or to wait til christmas and my mom was like “can we give her it now?” and my dad was like “what present” and my mom was like “you know… the good one” and my dad was like “spell it” and my mom goes “GREG, SHE’S 23”
“You can never be overdressed or overeducated.”
Oscar Wilde (via nudelip)
nah son, i ain’t got no snapchat. I’m old-fashioned. just fax it to me. fax me the nudes.
really all you need to know about the american health care system is that there’s a popular tv series where a man turns to cooking industrial quantities of crystal meth in order to pay his hospital bills
mom… dad… im batman
I MADE THIS POST NEARLY A YEAR AGO CAN WE STOP
im starting to see those “dont use ouija boards for fun they are very dangerous!!!!!!!” posts and id like to ask everyone who reblogs them what its like to be a fucking nerd
this is exactly the kind of post a ghost would make to trick you into using a ouija board. look out kids, the spoops are gettin crafty.